Self-assuredness has been something that has always ebbed and flowed for me. When I was a little girl, I was sure that I was going to be the next Indiana Jones, going off on amazing adventures until I was told very pointedly in my fourth-grade class that obsessing over King Tut in my spare time was “so not cool.”
So, I changed my tune and took up sports like every other girl my age, until I was told I didn’t have what it takes to be an amazing player by the girls in my class that wanted to my starting spot. So, even though I felt confident playing ball, I changed again and found love in the theater community.
Can you guess what happened there? Yep. You guessed it — I had a difficult time forming into the collegiate theater community because I wasn’t a true theater kid. So I found myself once again finding a way to change my path. During all of these encounters, I found that I loved what I was doing, but let the opinion of others and what others thought of me change my choices.
Society tells us that we need to pick one thing when we are 18 years old (with really no life experience behind us), focus on it, and be the very best at that one thing alone. Well, what if I say screw that? I found that after college, I was having to change my path once again because I wasn’t fitting society’s norms of what others thought of me. It was only during the pandemic that I actually took the time to self-reflect on what it was that I wanted in life. What I saw myself doing. Ultimately, what would make me happy. Because guess what? Everyone is going to have an opinion on what you should do with your life, but ultimately you are the one living those choices. So you mine as well make them your own.
This is something that I am still struggling with, but find that I’m starting to build my own path in life. I love culture, history, media, people, art, helping others, and always having variety in my day. When I look at that list — I see some really amazing things that can make up a wonderful and fulfilled life. So, why does it still feel like society is saying I can’t have them all?
I’ve decided to walk to my own beat — someone who is pursuing multiple passions at once and luckily there are parts of society today that are embracing these types of individuals. I love seeing “girlbosses” out there rocking multiple hats and trying to reinvent themselves over and over. These women are brave. They are confident. They are inspiring. These are the women I am choosing to be like.
I am still in my rediscovery phase — I am focusing on going back to school, finding a new job, and creating side hustles that inspire me every day. I am learning to love the new (well, maybe that’s the wrong word), the true me. If you are struggling with what life has thrown at you or are pivoting in life — know I believe in you and you are not alone. Listen to your desires, you got this.